Happy New Say Full Potential beings! Thank goodness we have another day to be alive and come more alive!
The last couple days were a beautiful celebration for us and last night was a slower and more quiet evening together. It was a nice change of pace actually.
Where Is The Line
The deepest thing that came up from our conversation is around relationship. And how to keep that part of ourselves alive that wants to immerse in connection with other being .. and have a certain freedom, without being disrespectful to partnership. Where is the line?
Obviously we behave very differently when we single beings. We have the freedom to connect with whomever we wish, however we wish. But in relationship, we must navigate together.
And feelings of threat, jealousy and anger seem hardwired in response to a partner’s behavior. They don’t seem like a choice, they just happen.
And if we want to remain in a stable and rooted partnership we have to learn how to navigate those feelings together, with sensitivity and communication while doing our very best to maintain as much freedom as possible so that on the flip side we don’t feel like we have to repress an important part of our expression to suit our partners need to feel safe.
The middle way in relationship is finding that line between freedom and safety. And it’s finding that line together so that the edge is being explored but in respectful and loving ways.
Partnership is Made Up
Ultimately a partnership is a construct. We don’t come into life with a partner. And there’s no specific rule book on it. We learn along the way. From society, from our parents, from friends. From our own experimentation. We learn what we like and what do don’t like. We learn the must haves and the non-negotiable. People come together and break up as they go through this process of exploration. Some people settle on acceptable limits and others keep pushing the limit.
In short, there is no right way to relate. There is no magic formula. And relationships that start out one way, for example monogamous can shift into polyamory (more than one partner), and polyamorous relationships and shift into being monogamous – as was the case between me and Alexandria.
Feeling it All
We are finding our way and as sensitive emotions come to the surface we can choose to navigate them together or break off and handle them alone. All these choices have consequences and ultimately we have to feel everything. That’s what makes this exploration so challenging, the consequences of our behavior or when connected deeply with another, THEIR behavior- affects us at the deepest levels of our heart. And it can take some time to recover and recenter when there’s a break up or seeming loss of connection.
Some respond to these challenges by withdrawing from relationships in general or closing down, even whilst still in relationship. Trying to escape or limit the amount of pain they feel. Others choose to step into feeling as much as they can, framing the pain and all as a beautiful part of the process of deeply accepting.
Finding That Sweet Spot
Again the choices are yours and ultimately the best decision is whatever is right for you.. and your partner. Finding the sweet spot where you can fully love each other and love life. Where you can truly be yourself without compromising. And also fully respect the partnership of your design. Where you are willing to sacrifice certain desires that are incompatible with deeper honoring and respecting and loving.
It truly is a dance that requires all your heart and Soul. Truth and honesty at the highest levels. And where safety and ‘forever’ is often an illusion. The most important thing is that you are becoming the best version of you in this dance and that you wish the same for your partner. Then you can let go of attachments and just want the highest and best at all times and commit to love no matter what form that takes. Whether together or apart, trusting in the universe. Trusting in love. Trusting that life will always work out when your heart and communication is open, your intentions as pure as can be and a desire to navigate other hearts with sensitivity.
James Sunheart is a student of personal development and spiritual growth. He is passionate about optimizing people, systems and life. He’s written 7 books. Interviewed hundreds of experts. Given a TED Talk in France. Lives in Costa Rica while developing a sustainable eco-village. For opportunities email: James AT FullPotential.com