What is Full Potential Love
The Path of Full Potential Love
Full Potential Love is going deeper than you’ve ever gone before.
Love is a mystery.. and the territory of the heart is always changing.
We are explorers on what it means to be on the path of love – we invite you to courageously join us.
THE STORY OF LOVE ISLAND
Imagine two (or more) people are on a boat together.
They aren’t sure where they are heading at first.
They aren’t sure how long they will travel together.
But they like eachother’s company.
It can be tempting to jump off the ship whenever it feels scary.
Or to push the other people overboard as soon as they irritate you.
These are measures of control.. that might make you feel more comfortable in the moment — you exiting or them exiting.. but that doesn’t mean you’ll be happy with your decision.
So instead of focusing on the people in your boat, its actually better to focus on the path & the destination. Let’s call the destination **Love Island.
**
If you’re headed for Love Island, there’s only one way to get there, the Love Path. And if you’re on the* Love Path*, headed to Love Island.. you’ll need reliable navigation. Let’s call this an *Open Heart*.
So now you’re headed to Love Island, on the Love Path, with an open heart.. if you focus on the destination of love, while on the love path, with an open heart, what someone else does now is secondary. You are focused on what you can control and if you trust the path and you trust your heart.. you aren’t so reliant on the other person anymore. Whether they stay or go doesn’t effect the path, the destination or the openness of your heart. You remained fixed on your path and trust that the person or people who journey with you are either on the same path or they are not. If they aren’t on the same path, you’ll find out soon enough when or if they leave. And you can be thankful that you have that clarity whenever the time comes. Instead of trying to control them , you accept their journey wherever it leads them. And you remain fixed and committed to listening to your heart’s love navigation, on the love path, to the love island. One thing is for sure, if you follow this course, you’re going to meet all kinds of interesting people on the way.. have all kinds of interesting and loving experiences and when you get to love island, you’re going to love it. So if you can trust in the path more than you trust in any one person .. you’re going to have a better experience and you don’t even have to look at what another person does and you don’t have to constantly deviate from the love course beause of your fears.
Fears may tell you to go to another island first, or try another path or try it with another person. Fear is a terrible navigation system when you’re trying to get to Love Island. At most it will keep you safe, but safe might just mean washing you ashore some island you don’t want to stay at, with people you don’t like being around – but at least you’ll be safe with plenty of coconuts.
This island is not very fun, but its safe. And fear will take you there. Ironically you’ll still be full of fear because you listened to it the whole way.. so you’ll land in a place that’s safe but its called Fear Island. And its full of people with fears who followed the navigation advice of fear. And it lead them down a fearful path to Fear island, with a closed heart, to keep them safe.
Love Island on the other hand makes for a much more attractive destination and only attracts the most loving people. On a loving path the whole way, so they are more relaxed. With an open heart – so they were able to feel more and discern love from fear. The whole way they were experiencing more love, even if they still encountered the occasional storm, it didn’t bother them because they just continued on the love path on their way to love island, experiencing the bliss of being on a very meaningful journey the entire time.
Yin / Yang Polarity
In love there is always a polarity that is seeking balance: the relationship between Yin and Yang. Yin is calmer, quieter, more yielding, whereas Yang is more assertive, firey and strong.
We seek to clarify the differences between the Yin / Yang and find the balance in harmony as much as possible.
Shared Vision
Getting clear on what love looks like for you is a very important conversation to have as early as possible. How do you feel loved? What do you desire? What does the ideal partnership look like? There is no right answer, only what is right for you and whoever you choose to be in a partnership with. Getting clear on each other’s vision can save you a lot of time and frustration. And prevent any unspoken expectations & disappointments from arising.
Relationship Generations
We suggest keeping a journal or diary for your relationship and note the generations as it evolves. It can be fun to look back and see the main chapters of the relationship as it unfolded and the pivotal events that shaped its evolution.
Acceptance
Judgement of others is an opportunity to see parts of ourselves we haven’t accepted yet. Its easy to see things we don’t like when it’s OUTSIDE of ourselves. We call this a a ‘projection’ .. projected an aspect of yourself you don’t like, onto someone outside of you.
Anytime you see something you don’t like about someone else, take a moment to humbly reflect on how you might actually be judging an aspect of yourself that you aren’t willing to look at.
4 WAYS TO EXPERIENCE MORE LOVE
(What every person wants)
To be..
Improve your relationships greatly by LOVING THE INNER CHILD
There’s an inner child in each of us! Learn how to strengthen relationships with anyone, including your own self, through this simple 4 Step Process:
1 SEEN: Giving your full presence and attention
2 HEARD: Listening to expression from a neutral place
3 HELD: Physical embrace & affection or simply holding space.
4 FELT: Allowing them to feel your true heart-felt sincerity.
Close the gap by simply asking:
- 1 How SEEN do you feel?
- 2 How HEARD do you feel?
- 3 How HELD do you feel?
- 4 How Felt do you feel?
RESPECTFUL COMMUNICATION
Communication is critical in any relationship. If you aren’t willing to go to the depths of your heart and express what’s there, you live in a relationship that is conveniently more surface level and possibly comfortable, but you lose out on the opportunity to go to levels of connection that might be more fulfilling if you can conquer your fears together.
Respectful communication ensures that one feels seen, heard, held and felt.
**Here’s how the Respectful Communication Game works: **
If you are practicing this communication game with a partner, it helps if you both agree to use it in advance and see using it as more of a game to ENHANCE your relationship. The more you practice it the more it will become a normal part of your every day communication style – and what relationship couldn’t use more respect to deepen love and trust?
ACTIVE VS LAZY LISTENING
A lazy listener is one that simply sits back and listens.
While often a good listener is highly appreciated and valued.. on the other hand sometimes the listening party can be held hostage by what we call a* control talker.*
A control talker is someone who might be nervous and accustomed to controlling time and space through talking. In most communications both parties attempt to control the conversation at some point through talking. But inevitably the more Yang energy often ends up controlling the conversation as the Yin energy let’s go of the need for control. While this is often accepted in our society, its not the most enjoyable way to harmonize energy fields.
We suggest taking an ACTIVE Listening approach that allows the listener to give subtle feedback (through hand gestures) to the talker without interrupting. We’ll go over the hand gestures in just a moment.
Hand Gestures
- You could come up with any variety of hand gestures and make it as complicated as you want but when its ‘game time’ , meaning during the actual communication its best to keep things pretty simple, so you can easily remember what to incorporate for a more harmonious communication.
Remember just a few of these communication strategies & hand gestures can go a VERY LONG way!
- Raised hand Gesture
- Raising the hand signifies the wish to speak. This is easy enough. Keep your hand raised until the person acknowledges your wish to speak. Allow them to finish their thoughts knowing that you’ll have your opportunity soon.
- If you’re the one talking and someone raises their hand, acknowledge them as soon as you can, so they can focus on listening to you rather than what they want to say. Try to wrap up your point so you can hear what they have to say. See passing the ball for why its important to keep the energy flowing back and forth and not be a control talker.
- Want to make things even easier? You can avoid the need to raise your hand if you have timed sessions for each person to speak. A very useful approach if you are discussing a hot topic.
- Walking Fingers Gesture
- Using your index and middle finger in a walking motion signifies that the listener gets the point and that the speaker is running on and on about the same point.
- Careful when using the gesture if people that have not been briefed about the game-like nature of this communication as it can be seen as rude.
- The person who uses the walking finger gesture should be challenged to summarize the point that was being made to ensure they were truly listening. If they understand the point, they can ask if there’s anything else to share.. at which point the spaker can continue or confirm they feel heard & understood.
- Wrap it Up Gesture
- Circling the index finger in the air indicates a desire by the listener for the talker to wrap up their points. This is especially useful if it feels like they haven’t passed the ball and are giving a long winded answer. This can save many a listener from feeling like they have been taken hostage by a speaker that doesn’t seem to notice the listeners fading interest in what the speaker is saying.
- Time Out
- Like a referee during a football game you can call a communication ‘Time Out’ by making a T with your hands. This is especially useful if something the speaker is saying is particularly triggering.
- Careful in using a Time Out during timed sessions as its only fair & respecful to allow someone the same amount of time to express their view as they have given you.
- Time Outs are specially useful if the listener feels attacked and doesn’t want to get into an argument pattern (attacking & defending)
- Default time outs last 3 minutes. But if you need more time, you can ask for more time.
- Both parties should feel FREE and agree they are free to enter or leave a conversation as needed and return to it when and if agreed.
- It is far better to call a time out and recompose your energy than to respond out of compulsory obligation or fear. This may only lead to an energy slinging contest that erodes trust & harmony – the opposite of what respectful and constructive communication should be doing. And the cause of most break ups.
PASSING THE BALL
And for whoever is talking, we suggest passing the ball that is, passing the power of the communication back and forth quickly rather than scoring many points in a single round of talking.
There are a few ways of doing this that can be fun to experiment with.
USE A TIMER
One of the most basic (and preventable) reasons for communication break down is the pattern of triggering followed by interruption. For example Person A says something Person B doesn’t like. Person B immediately jumps in to defend or attack. Person A wasn’t even done with what they were saying. Now Person A is feeling triggered and defends or attacks Person B and the conversation spirals out of control because both parties feel an emotional charge that moves them out of harmony with each other. And with each attack or defense maneuver they fall further out of harmony, away from the true goal of quality communication: harmony.
Using a timer with a clear agreement to let one person talk and to give space for them to finish their thoughts in the time alotted before the other speaks is an incredibly simple and effective way to ensure the attack & defend cycles of communication do not feed on your precious life force energy.
We suggest all parties involved in the communication use notebooks to note down what the other person is saying, so they can channel their triggered ‘reaction’ into the notebook rather than directly back at the person who triggered them.
They can then respond to the points they wrote down, when they are alotted time to speak .
SUMMARIZING WHAT THE OTHER PERSON JUST SAID
Another very simple way to create more harmony in communication, especially when things get heated, is to simply get in the habit of summarizing what you just heard, from a NEUTRAL place before going into your side of the story. Why feel the need to defend a position if you aren’t even being attacked?
Not only can many misunderstandings can be prevented by simply recreating what the other person just said. But when a person feels truly heard, their nervous system begins to calm down and readies them to listen to the other party. Afterall, they will also need to show mutual respect by summarizing what they are about to say as well.
This is cornerstone of respectful communicatin – truly listening to what the other person just said and repeating it back to them so that they feel heard and understood.
After you repeat it back to them in a calm and neutral way you can simply say — “Did I hear you properly? Is there anything else?” At this point they will reclarify (and save you a lot of energy and time in the process).. then you re-summarize the way you understand it now. Once they say “That’s everything. I feel complete”.. often relaxing now that they feel heard and understood.. you can begin with your point of view. Now they are more open and ready to receive your point of view too, it works like magic! Who knew harmony between humans could be so easy?
FUN WAYS TO EXPAND ON RESPECTFUL COMMUNICATION
- One Breath Method
- A person speaks all they can in in a single breath and lets the other person take over on the next breath.
- This makes for an interesting co-creation rather than one person making statements or sharing opinions from an Ego point of view.
- A person speaks all they can in in a single breath and lets the other person take over on the next breath.
- Sentence Stems Method
- One person starts a sentence and the other finishes it.
– This also makes for interesting co-creation.
**TAPPING THE INNER CHILD **
One thing that’s so refreshing about children is their honesty and directness. The downside to child-speak is that it can be impulsive and/ or insensitive. That’s why as adults we learn to curb our speech and come from a less direct approach that’s more neutrally received. The downside is that we try to please everyone and our real emotions are not seen, heard, held or felt.
- Child Speak Method
A timed session where you both speak from the directness of your inner child can be a fun game where there is no confusion around how you really feel, and you’re prepared for whatever may come up during this window of time.
Really step into the character of a child (4 or 5 years old) that speaks their mind with their whole body and doesn’t hold back. Allow each other the chance to respond in the same way.. go back and forth until you both feel heard and understood how you truly feel. This can be a very revealing exercise even for you, to allow the repressed child to come out can be healing in and of itself and require no further action.
If the communication gets off track or someone feels hurt during this interaction, you may want to call a time out and try another method. Remember the goal of all methods is to create more harmony. So as long as you’re moving towards this goal, you’re doing it right. Even if you have to cross some uncomfortable territory to get there -that’s perfectly normal. In fact its inevitable.
HIGHER ENERGY COMMUNICATION STYLES
The default way of talking and using words has a certain energy frequency. The benefit is that its something that most people can relate to without any explanation. The downside to default communication is that its often done at a level of lower energy and mind control. We are all running programs from our minds – in fact that’s how we create a persona. Most interactions are done between two programs.. and only when there’s trust and safety does the true essence begin to feel safe to come out.
If we can shortcut the process by raising our energy levels together and building trust & connection faster, we can have more fun and enjoy the process a whole lot more.
Here’s a ways to incorporate higher energy communication into your next conversation
- Rap Method
- Communicate through rhtyhm and rhyming.
- Even when the rhyming or word use gets a little messy, embracing the creative flow of this method causes a higher energy interaction to take place.
- You’ll find the more you do it the better you get at it.
- Communicate through rhtyhm and rhyming.
- Song Talk Method
- Commit to singing what you want to communicate through an on the spot song. The point isn’t to create the next hit song (but who knows if you will, you might want to record it :)) It doesn’t have to be perfect, just honest and real from the heart.
- Options include
- Rap the song
- Sing in an operatic style
- Interact as if you’re in a musical
- Play an instruments as you sing your heart out (literally)
- Options include
- Commit to singing what you want to communicate through an on the spot song. The point isn’t to create the next hit song (but who knows if you will, you might want to record it :)) It doesn’t have to be perfect, just honest and real from the heart.
WORKING THROUGH PROGRAMS
Your life is a series of experiences that have formed the sum of who you are and what you believe to be true about life, relationships and the word ‘love’ right now. In essence, everything you know about everything you know – is a program. And if that isn’t weird enough, even your persona or Ego is a program, its really just the sum of all programs that now operate on auto-pilot.
While we could fill volumes writing about programs there’s a few key things we’ll cover here as it relates to love.
The Word ‘Love’ is a Program
When I say “I love you”.. what does it actually mean?
Try Bleeping Out the Word Love ..
One experiment you can try to discover what the love program means is to just bleep out the word love and not even use it for a while. Instead of saying “I love you”.. go one level deeper, for example in that moment you are about to say “I love you” you can get more specific and say, “I really enjoy the feeling I have in my heart when I am in your presence” or “I really enjoy it when you give me foot massages” or “I really how it makes me feel when we do this activity together” ..
You’ll begin to find all the source code that you use to cobble together the story or program of love and begin to appreciate the specific snippets of code that you can use or expand upon to expand or rewrite the story of love. Remember that even with the new understanding, the word love is still just a program.. as it connects with the mind’s understanding of love. You’ll never actually be able to BOX the word love into a concept.. love, in its essence, is a path of ever expanding and infinite experiences .. there’s no way you’ll ever know love.. its is only to be experienced in every moment and its fun to share the path with others who wish to dive deeper with you!
Awakening to the Programs
Everything you’ve ever learned about everything is stored in your mind. Your life force energy is then used to maintain this living library of information and programs that is then continually referenced, whether conscious or subconsciously, by your Ego, which is also a program. This whole process happens pretty much on on autopilot until YOU, the witnessing Soul, become aware of it.
At that moment, you suddenly become the conscious programmer of your own life. You begin to witness the programs that operate as a awake observer, rather than a victim or robot that has to carry them out. The moment you stop acting like you have to follow the programs and just become curious to watch them, is a defining moment in your awakening.
This moment can come at any time.. even just reading the words on this page can suddenly wake you to the realization “I AM THE CREATOR OF THE PROGRAM’ and empower you to shift from being passive about your life to being more proactive about the kind of life you want to live.
Afterall – every single ‘person’ is really just a sum of the information that lives in their minds, and even the DNA itself of the body is also just a program that tells proteins how to create the biological hardware that house these ‘people’. The real gold is the spirit that lives in the house that once awake – has practically limitless potential!
Clearing Old Programs & Patterns
What do you do after you’ve awakened to the reality of being mostly tied to a program of unconscious design? You begin by clearing what’s already been written or imprinted that you feel is not serving you at all. And you begin at the most powerful level of change, at the FEELING level.
There are a variety of methods out there for clearing energy and traumas from the past that are still charged up in the present. One of the more popular methods is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). If you’re interested you can learn more about that method.
We have developed a method called “Heart Clearing” which essentially boils down the process of Feeling is Healing.. if you can go in and isolate the disturbing emotions that you’ve been avoiding, feel them all the way through without judging or blaming or reacting.. just FEEL in a state of surrender.. you can heal them.
I have created this diagram to better illustrate the process to your mind. Basically the diagram shows that first you have to get out of the grey area (the mind) that constructs a reality for you to live in where you don’t have to feel that much if you don’t want to, and you can still function. Unless or until you encounter experiences where feelings overwhelm you (traumatic events, loss of loved ones, break ups etc).. in which case the mind loses its sense of control and the experience can become less than pleasant.
The Heart Clearing Diagram can be viewed as a maze that requires letting go as you get through each layer of the maze. First you must let go of the grey area, all the mental programs. Then as you sit there you might have your first uncomfortable feeling such as boredom.. and if you stay with it and keep feeling into your heart you may start to experience other uncomfortable sensations that have always been there you just haven’t always felt them.
Typically, we become masterful at avoiding emotions we don’t want to feel through our programs and in the first stages of relaxation we actually begin to feel more tense .. that tension is always there under the surface – we have just hid them under the carpet so to speak. And now that we’re consciously going to feel for them to clear them, at first it might feel like you’re taking a step backwards, feeling emotions you didn’t want to feel, but because you’re going in to clear them for good this time around – you can rejoice!
Its far better and far more enjoyable to gain mastery of your emotions now through the process of heart clearing and waking up to the programs that live in your mind .. so that you can live at ANY level of experience you want. The goal here is to travel FREELY between the mind and the heart at will. Without fear and without complication. FREEDOM of Spirit to fully embrace and enjoy life at every level, CONSCIOUSLY.
What this means basically is to detach from all programs and emotions, to then be able to feel them without judgement so that they can easily be cleared.. realizing that you are the experiencer and as such, you don’t need to personally identify with anything in the past, anything in the future or even anything in the present. You can simply open your eyes and your senses and take in new information. Write programs consciously and live out a life by design .. having more of the kind of experiences you want to have. This is tapping into your full potential so you can experience your full power.
LOVE / FREEDOM & CONTROL
Love & Fear are two sides of the same coin. The more we try to control love from fear, the less we have of it. The more we let go and trust in love, the more we experience. Its the ultimate surrender.
It can be tempting to want to try to control love, manipulate it for fear of it going away – but its precisesly these actions, listening to the voice of fear, that cause love to become something that’s not love. And for fears to become the reality instead of dreams from love.
If you stop trying to control the outcome of love and rather dedicate yourself to the path of it, you’ll experience outcomes beyond your imagination.
RUBBER BANDING: THE NEED FOR SPACE
The longer you’re in a relationship the more you’ll actually need time away from each other. Its perfectly natural to desire time apart, and this doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed or that you don’t love each other. It’s the EXHALE in a relationship before the next INHALE. The relationship needs space to breathe.
Another way to look at this is like a rubber band, a metaphor that relationship John Grey uses. Both partners need time to stretch and if given this opportunity, the tension caused by the stretching will cause both partners to come back together, with the force of attraction. Then once again they will need space and stretch, and again they will come together in attraction.
Knowing that these are the normal rhythms and cycles of a relationship will help you better understand and be better prepared, than to assume wanting to be as far away from your partner as possible meaning the relationship is over. It’s just temporary!
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