Happy New Day. It’s a beautiful start to the day here in Zen Village .. in Costa Rica. The birds are chirping. The river is rushing. The sun is shining. And the moon is still out.
Yesterday’s mushroom ceremony was beautiful. I really took the time to go inward and calm my nervous system through not expending much energy in outward expression.
I put on an eye mask and for much of the experience I just breathed through it.. stretched my back. Relaxed and relaxed some more.
Then in the later evening time when Alexandria got back, I felt distance. I was feeling very sensitive. And wished she had come over and given me a hug upon returning.
And within that distance I felt sadness, disconnection and pain. And also some anger later in the night when I felt she was trying to explain herself rather than just feel me.
While I was hurting I could not give any more love.. or even my attention. I didn’t feel like even looking at her. I just felt deeper into myself. Eyes closed. Telling myself how much I loved and appreciated myself. Breathing and feeling where the tension was and relaxing it.
It took me a couple of hours of doing this until when waking up later in the night I had some tingles in my body and I actually felt more full.
I am still sad about the state of our connection and I hope to bridge that today. But I also needed to take the time to feel into my tensions and perceived threats to my peace to relax, calm and love myself without outer influence.
Now that I have done a lot of that I am in a better place to integrate my environment and my relationship into greater wholeness.
I hope this process and intimate share can be helpful to you too. Whether navigating a relationship or any challenging time.. it can really help to take some time to go within, feel through it all without responding to the outside world. Cultivate more love and peace within your being and then confront whatever it is you need to address.
That’s it for today. Have a beautiful and lovely day. Make it peaceful, joyful and come alive!